Okay, basically I usually ignore phone calls when I am still very tired and don't want to wake up, but today, although I was still very tired, I heard my phone ring, I answered it without looking at who called, and that phone call made my day. My mood for the day to be exact, but I did fight with my mood though, so in the end it isn't really that bad.

To those who have been asking me questions through commenting on my entries, if you wish to, you can e-mail me at brighton.y@gmail.com instead, as I believe some of you out there might have more personal questions or things to say which you think wouldn't be good to be showed as a comment even though your identity is kept anonymous.
Questions that I think I have answers that are too long for a reply as a comment, I'll just answer them through my entries.
In my previous post, someone asked:

"How do I approach a girl that I've never spoken to before, and befriend her?"

This is more of a Men's post, but girls should read too, just incase I make any mistake in trying to "explain" you. (;
Before answering, I have to make this clear, I am typing everything with my very own understanding, in my very own opinion. Any advices given by me MIGHT NOT be reliable, I am not what you call a successor in the relationship stuffs, in addition to that, I've never got myself to apply any of my own advices in my own life when it comes to relationship, don't ask me why, probably because of my failure to "execute" them in time, or courageously enough. By the way, to the guy who posted the question of this entry, I don't know your name, I'd just call you ABC in this entry if I have to, hope you don't mind that. Here goes:

You always hear this saying in Singapore, it says, "Guy see looks, girl see feeling."
Well, it's true, more or less. But I wouldn't use "looks" and "feeling."
I would use "appearance" and "value."

I would say:

Fully matured men get impressed by a woman's appearance(sexual appeal) at first.
Fully matured women get impressed by a man's value to her at first.
Hardly would you see fully matured men get impressed by a woman's value at first.
Hardly would you see fully matured women get impressed by a man's appearance at first.

Take note of "Fully matured."
Don't give a damn about immature minds yet, they don't know who, what, why, when, where and how they like someone else.

There are differences between immature and mature minds. When a retard comes by, an immature mind would laugh and gossip about the retard, whereas a mature mind would just shut up. But one thing for sure is that, both immature and mature mind would see the retard as someone of little value to them, and wouldn't really wanna associate with them.  For women, they don't judge you by your appearance, they judge you by your value to them. You see, when a woman is attractive, this means that many guys "react in a way", or to be more exact, be more or less, "sexually aroused" upon seeing her, and thus would behave in a certain way. Living for at least 10 to 15 years already, she would have been already be able to "recognise" the behaviours, and so she knows who is attracted to her, and who is not. She has seen lots of guys reacting to her, for years, maybe decades, she is sick of such guys, they don't turn her on in anyway. So the bottom line is that, women are more attracted to men who don't "react like all other low valued guys" upon seeing her, because the fact that a man isn't "impressed" by her appearance already makes her question herself, and at the same time feels that she gives more damn about you than you give a damn about her. She feels that in this world, you are more wanted than she is, she feels that being with you would definitely bring more "wants" than being with the others. That's when going over and saying a simple "hi" and being friends is something possible. Starting a conversation with her wouldn't be easy, and wouldn't be hard as well. It takes courage. It takes quick thinking. Stutter and you're gone. You have to speak fluent, you have to maintain your high value to her. Because don't forget that as long as you take the initiative to befriend her, you rip off a bit of your value to her although she still is impressed by your ability to stay "calm." Women don't like guys who are interested in their appearances, right? So try your best to speak more to make her think that you are interested in her, but not her appearances, like her sense of fashion, her voice, how much you two have in common, and at the same time, making her "more" into the interaction between you and her.

Let's say, you've accomplished the first impression part. Now you are friends, how are you gonna remain friends, or go further? Well, just look at you and your friends, or if any girl out there likes you, what would make you remain their friends, or go further? Many would say security, many would say comfort, many would say sense of belonging, bingo. They are all the same. When you feel secured, you feel comfortable, when someone is willing to secure, you feel as though you belong to em. Hmmm, how do I put this? Just make her feel comfortable the way you want your friends to make you feel comfortable with them. Don't pull off cold jokes, if you don't have a funny face to back it up. Don't drink if you can't. Don't take a cab if you can't afford to. Make her feel good, make her your company and vice versa, don't be her dog. Don't make your value so low she feels as though you're getting more and more of a well-designed book cover jerk. Spend time with her doing things with meanings, with value, not burn paper and say it's fun. Make sure she thinks that you are one man, that can be relied on forever, trusted forever, secure her forever, comfort her forever. Be there for her. 

To impress, is to increase value. Here's an example: 
When your friend shows you his huge muscles, you feel more secured with him, because you need not fear any bad guys. And he becomes of more value to you.

That's all I have to say.
How far you want to go, it's all up to you. This is all I think I know. How much you trust my "personal opinions and understandings" depends on you.

Have you ever wondered where does space lead to?
Have you ever wondered if there's an end to space?
I doubt so.
For everything, we need space.
We need space to breathe, we need space to move, we need space to build, we need space to do.
Think again.
For everything, space is used.
Space is used to store air, space is used to enable our movements, space is used to build, space is used to do.
Space is the place where we realize our potential.
I believe also, that space is endless.
So that an architect who believes in building a tower that is three times taller than Earth, has the space to do it.
So that when scientists believe in designing a craft able to fly into space as deep as they want, has the space to prove it.
So that when one believes in flying away from Earth into space where no one thought was possible to reach, has the space to prove it.
So that when Earth is out of land space, has the space to carry out plans.
I bet, that in the future, breathing in outer space would not be a problem. I can see it.
Nothing's impossible, even if it seems so. Because it only seems so now.
If inedible unriped fruit can turn into an edible riped fruit, unbreathable air can turn into breathable air.
If electricity can light up Earth, humans can light up space.
If scientists can alter the characteristics and properties of elements to adapt to a certain thing, they can do the same to themselves, humans.
Again, I'm saying here, that everything comes from within, not from without.
Nothing comes from space, everything in space comes from within us, within our minds.
Things only seem impossible when it is believed to be impossible. But the fact is, everything is possible.
For everything, we have space to do it, we have our minds to occupy space.
Space is our toy. It's up to us as to how are we gonna play with it.
We must play with it, we have no choice.
No matter what, at the end of the day, this toy of ours will either be spoilt, or upgraded.
Whatever it is, all we need to know is.
Everything comes from within, not without.
Space is there for everything within us to be taken out.
.rehto hcae ot ekops tsal ew nehw s'tahT .gninrom txen eht tfel uoy dna ,ybab a ekil tpels uoy ,revo emac uoy ,yadhtrid ruoy retfa thgin ehT

Today is the last 2nd day of the Advanced Elective Module, and tomorrow's the last.
After this few days, I think the Industrial Design course is not a bad choice.
But then again, getting into a polytechnic isn't my first choice.
Up till today, we graphically modelled I-Pods, PSPs, and handphones.
I took pictures, but am lazy to upload them. Next time.
I think I've said a lot of "next times" whenever it comes to uploading photos, I do have a lot of pending photos to be uploaded. :\

Re: :/ </a></font></b></a>brighton_yam 2007-10-25 12:07 pm UTC

"Those who usually end up out of one, becomes one probably because of the lack of trust, communication, and understanding. Infact they are linked in a way or so. These people are those who, when single, thinks it is better to be in a relationship, and when in one, thinks it is better to be single." I didn't say that all has this thought, everyone starts off wanting to last forever, unless one's a playboy or girl. Only when there is lack of trust, communication, and understanding would the thought that being single would be better arise. The one who first decides to break up, is the one who gets tired of clapping with the other first. You see, if we can say that quarrelling is equivalent to understanding each other better, and also equivalent to clapping hands, then think this way: If it takes coordination for 2 people to clap their hands together, hand in hand, without missing each other's hand, when one decides to stop clapping, that one gives up on the other. So why not continue clapping and understanding each other better until fingers of both hands interlock each other and stay forever? (Reply to this)(Parent)

I'm playing around with Audacity.
Some program used to analyze and rearrange music/songs.
I'm screwing up songs.
I also finally got to hear the "hidden" message in Jay Chou's Ni Ting De Dao.
You have to play the song backwards to hear it.

Went for the Advanced Elective Module in the morning, ended at 4PM, headed down to Dhoby Ghaut to play pool with ShaoLoong, Jerome, Dixon, Fabian, Kevin at MonsterCue.
Walked down to Orchard after playing and left for home.


Is your partner not good enough for you, or the other way round?

If you go out one day with $5 wanting to eat a $5 meal, but to your surprise, on that day, it costed $5.50 and you never got to eat it.
Usually people would go like, "Damn that restaurant," "Damn the economy," "Why am I so broke?" "If only my boss paid me more," "If only my parents gave me more."
Hardly will you see people go like, "It was all my fault that I came out with only $5 and no extra money for emergency," "If I did not drink last night, I would be able to eat the $10 meal."
Bottom line is, people tend to blame others instead of oneself. You know it, I know it, we know it.
How should one decide whether to go into a relationship or not? When there's love.
When is there love? When there's trust, there's security, there's faith, there's communication, there's mutual understanding, there's everything that's needed to maintain a good relationship.
What's most important? I'd say it's trust, communication, and understanding.
Every now and then we see people going in and out of relationships.
Those who usually end up out of one, becomes one probably because of the lack of trust, communication, and understanding. Infact they are linked in a way or so.
These people are those who, when single, thinks it is better to be in a relationship, and when in one, thinks it is better to be single.

In a good relationship:
When X trusts and has faith in Y's love for X, why would X be bothered whether anyone else is able to snatch Y's heart?
When X knows that Y needs X and vice versa, why would X feel worried when Y picks a quarrel or vice versa? It's not like anyone's gonna lose anyone anyway.
So what if Y spends more time with her friends than with X? At the end of the day, X and Y will still be together, ain't it?
Oh, so either one of both is spending more time with friends of the opposite sex than each other? Both are jealous of each other, if there's love, it will stop one day. If there isn't, then it's time to break up.
The love is there, both know it's secured, it's solid, too hard to break.
If the love is true, there won't be a need to worry about your partner giving "anything" to other people.

In a bad relationship:
When X doesn't trust and have faith in Y's love for X, X would be very afraid that Y might give love to others too.
When X feels that Y doesn't need X or vice versa, either one of both would be very afraid of quarrels as they see it as the reason to break up.
When Y spend more time with friends, X thinks that Y would eventually become close to friends than X.
There's no love. There's no trust, instead of explanations and expressions of care and worry for one another, parties questions each other.
Both parties are very afraid of each other giving "things" to other people.


Now we often see people worrying so much about what their partner is doing.
For example, you're a guy, you are going out with friends your parents don't know at all, and they expect you to name them all out.
Don't you feel weird telling them, "I'm going out with John, James, Dick, Tom, Harry, Eric, Edric, Jason, Peter," when they don't even know any of them? Imagine if one of them has a very laughter stimulating name. Same goes to your partner. When you ask who is your partner going out with, and you get "Friends" as a reply, take it. If you suspect anything, find out who the friend is yourself, don't ask for help. Don't expect your partner to tell you, "Boy, I'm going out with BahBahBlackSheep, that's her real name, I swear, you have to believe me."
When you ask for a name, after getting "friends" as a reply, your partner immediately concludes that you are suspecting em of something already, and the "atmosphere would be more tensed." And so, telling your partner that your friend's name is BahBahBlackSheep would make you feel extremely awkward, it's like trying to distract your partner and changing the subject by making em laugh out of suspecting you, which is not gonna happen.

Woke up, had a hard time deciding whether to go out with Dixon and Jerome or not.
Ended up doing so, but Jerome didn't come.
Me and Dixon played $16 of pool.
We went to Bugis to look around, I had a headache and he was tired.
Suddenly had the mood to go to AMK Hub, so we did. And had our dinner, named the "Crouching Tiger Hidden Bacon."
It's a very very very big bun with bacon, cheese and pepper. We ate at the staircase. My dinner of the month.


Reputation

Are you famous? Are you infamous? Are you rich and famous? Are you poor and famous? Are you famous for being an asshole? Are you famous for being for being a cool dude? Are you famous for bootlicking? Are you famous for boasting shit about yourself? Are you famous for being a coward? Are you a famous outcast?

Is your reputation good or bad?
How are you famous?

I've a friend. He is rich. He thinks he knows a lot of people, especially girls. I don't know how to judge his looks. It seems to be that his reputation is his everything. He is a bootlicker. Infront of us, he often mentions names of the "people that he thinks are cool," and often mentions the times he hangs out with them(which occurs very rarely). When they aren't around, he is on very good terms with me and others. When they are around, he thinks his more "cool" than us. But somehow we seem to be on better terms with the people whom he thinks are "cool" and is bootlicking. He is hopping between two cliques which are on very good terms with each other. One clique is full of rich people, who goes clubbing very often, very into fashion, most of them has girlfriends. The other is more into sports, isn't financially very well off, doesn't go clubbing often, is into fashion, but unable to afford, as many of them has girlfriends, but some are also quite rich. Why does this friend of mine have to hop between cliques? It is clear to almost all of us. Yes, we have our little talks on this fellow, as to how "friendless" is he becoming. He is bootlicking one clique and despising the other. And when that clique isn't there, he bootlicks the one that he despises. He recently is looking for a job, he claims to some that he is rich enough and doesn't need to work, he claims to some that he is going to work in some very reputable fashion outlet together with some of his "cool people." But recently asked me a lot about my job, what's it like, every single detail. I think he is interested. Like isn't he gonna work with the "cool people?"
He treats girls very differently from guys. He treats the people he thinks are cool very differently from the people he thinks are not.
He is what is known to most of us as a hypocrite. He is sort of living in a world of his own. He is full of self-proclamations that he himself does not know of. He refuses to accept our advices, and our comments. He, instead, comments a lot about all of us. He is full of excuses. I know at times he reads this journal of mine. Dude, if you are reading, and you know I'm referring to you, change man. You have to. If you wanna be cool, if you wanna be famous, if you wanna have a good reputation, all you have to do is stay calm and cool, treat everybody equally, treat everybody the way you want to be treated, you are already rich, you have the money to buy the IN products, you don't have to stick with the "people you think are cool" to be cool, because you look like a dog walking between their feets. Just be yourself, just be who you want to be. You have to face it, those "cool people" are on better terms with us than with you, you've been left out because of what you've been thinking and acting. Do you realize you've been asking people out and hardly any has been asking you out?

Yesterday, went to play pool at Snookerzone Toa Payoh, went to Marina Square for a walk, then arrived at Lavender around 6:45PM for dinner, and for our job interview after that. There was me, Jerome, Fabian, Dixon, Kevin. Jerome only joined in after our dinner though.

Today, woke up at 8:22AM, quickly bathed and rushed to school. Charlie didn't let me in as I was in slippers and sleeveless top. Anyway, settled some DNT stuffs, and met up with Kevin to head to Harbourfront to meet Fabian, Dixon, Jerome, Eunice and Eileen.
We went to Sentosa and spent about half our day there stepping on burning hot sand and then cool down in the Sea.
We bought a ball for $18, the sand was super hot, so we played water polo, then with wet feet, we went on to play some stupid ball-passing-volleyball-style game, but still ended up switching between land and sea until late afternoon when the Sun went down. Played basketball on land, bathed, and went for.. I don't know what's that, probably lunch, lost track of time during that moment. :\

Jerome left with Eunice and Eileen. The rest of us went for our job's basic training at 7:30PM, it went quite well. And now, I'm here. Tired.



I'm talking about all my heart, all my soul, always stay, never go.

Secrets, I have. Like everyone else does.
My very own, and that of others.
I keep secrets.

Secrets that I swear would break friends up.
Secrets that I swear would patch friends up.
Secrets that I swear would break couples up.
Secrets that I swear would patch couples up.
Secrets that could kill.
Secrets that could revive.
Secrets that involves me.
Secrets that are none of my business.

I keep them all.
None goes out.

But I know, and some people out there knows for fact that, if I let some of the secrets deposited into me out, one or more people would greatly regret their decisions on certain stuffs, change their point of view toward certain stuffs or people, take back some stuffs they said, break some promises they've made,  feel fucking cheated, feel fucking humiliated, and would not know who to trust and love anymore. Secrets deposited into me aren't necessarily done so verbally or visionarily. There are some that are deposited into me physically, they are those that are deposited into me through happenings, through incidents that involves me and another party or more. I must say that the most regret generating, decision regretting, view changing, thought changing, heart shattering, dream shattering, trust backfiring secrets that I have comes from the physical secrets. I'm unable to imagine outcomes if these secrets in me out-goes.

Please don't mind my fucks, I'm just not feeling right.

Look at your willingness to live. What can you compare it with?
I'd say that the stocks' values in the stock market is about the most suitable thing we can use to compare with your willingness to live.

When you are getting what you want, when you get to do that girl you admire, when you strike lottery, when you win yourself a car. That's when you're happy, that's when your willingness to live goes up.
When you aren't getting what you want, when you says her fake nails are nice get a tight slap, when you lose money at the casino, when you get busted for speeding, when you ain't got no money to go clubbing. That's when you're feeling so screwed up, that's when your willingness to live goes down.

Although it is possible to get only what you want forever, still, majority of the people in this world get both.
You often get what you for a period of time, then get what you don't want for a period of time. Sometimes, you get what you want for a long period of time, then get what you don't want for a short period of time and vice versa.

Now, look at this stock chart that I got from NASDAQ. 

You don't see stocks' values start from the top and stay up there.
You don't see stocks' values start from the bottom, go up and up, and never goes down.
You don't see stocks' values start from the bottom, and stay down there.
You don't see stocks' values start from the top, and go straight down to 0.
You don't see stocks' values start from the bottom, and go straight up to the top.

Now, look at that stock chart, look at it as if it's your life. Assume that the points whereby the stock value is high shows that you're getting what you want, you're happy and so your willingness to live goes up. And points whereby the stock value is low shows that you're not getting what you want, you're unhappy and so your willingness to live goes down.

After reading everything before this sentence, swop places of all the underlined and bold words.

I say it's possible to get only what you want forever. It is, and if you're wondering how, it's simple. What you don't want now is failure, falling down, and losing. But failure, falling down, and losing are the only teachers in life that can really teach. No teacher in this world can teach like they do. This theory has existed for generations. So if you don't want failure, falling down, and losing, that means you don't want to learn.
If you want to learn, that means failure, falling down, and losing is also something you want.

JiaWei asked to meet at 10 in the morning today, to study for DNT.
So this morning, at 9:52, I received a phone call from KianWei, and because it's only 8 minutes before our meeting time, I rushed in and out of the bathroom. And gave KianWei a call as we plan to meet at Thomson CC first before heading off to Toa Payoh. He told me he hasn't bathed yet. So I ate breakfast at home. We ended up meeting at roughly 11AM. Decided to eat first, so we ate at the food court underground of Toa Payoh interchange. Later on we went to Mos Burger to carry out our study. We took out our notes and stuffs, and started chatting the whole time. Cool.
We thought the noise level and low temperature was preventing us from studying, and we decided to move on to Toa Payoh Community Central, which was the exact opposite of Mos Burger. There it was extremely quiet, and the Sun was burning hot. Although the noise level and temperature was the exact opposite of Mos Burger's, we sat down and carried on chatting. We figured we couldn't bring ourselves to study and decided to play pool instead. What a wonderful study session.
 

Mario Vazquez - Gallery ( Edited )

I was listening to this song today when I recalled someone who once told me how much she wanted to die.
So as I was listening, I was changing the lyrics to suit her at the same time...
Here it goes:

God broke the mold when he made me when he knows
I am breathing unwillingly
I walk out the door so pressured
Feel I should never face the world
They all've got so much dough
So much ice their necks and wrists froze
Is it fair to me, hell, no
But I choose to carry on, living
Tell me is this torture worth taking
Don't know what's the reason that I hold on
When I know that life, has a role for everyone but me
And I've been treated too unfair
I've been treated as one of a kind
Hey
Used my mind
I should die coz I'm so sure that
I can't take
Stepping out the door
Coz' I know that I've no role to play
In this world at all
Just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
I'm just like a piece of art that's an eyesore
In a gallery
I'm so confused
I know I deserve more
More love and more adoration
But it's hard to not ignore me
I really don't know what to do people
It's just a matter of time
Before you find that you all wronged me
After you're done mocking at me
Step back before I knock your lights out

Ah, crap. Of course, this song should never be recited mentally as over recitation of this would lead to living by it.


Giving up?

N Levels, O Levels, whatever level you're taking. You're bound to hear people saying they want to make it through, but at the same time, also deciding which ITE to go to, retain or go to NS, or spend and be a private candidate.
See the contradiction in their thoughts?
People often use "try" as an excuse to fail. And then using "failing means learning" as an excuse to just try.
This cycle goes on and on, people say they try, they fail, say they were just giving it a try, and then say they learn something from failure anyway.
If you think this way, you know what, you're never gonna stop trying and stop failing. You will keep trying, keep failing, and keep "learning."
You're never gonna succeed.
You keep thinking "Try and fail, it doesn't matter, it's just a try. I can try again." 
You HAVE to think "Do it, if I fail, I WILL do it better."
If you use "again," it simply means repeating what you've just done.
So if you did Step A and failed, by saying try again simply means you are going to do Step A again, and fail the same way.
If you use "can," then it means you can, but you won't necessarily do it.
You have to say you will, or you must. So it will definitely be done.
It will be better if you remove, "If I fail."
Because if you really wanna do something, you should research on it until you know that something inside out before doing that something.
Hence the only reason why you would fail is because of careless mistakes.
But then again, if you have done your research properly, you should have also have taken note of careless mistakes often made.